#RoastMonday

“Bhai tune Skills mein likha — Excel, Advanced Excel, aur MS Excel. Teeno alag alag. Ye ek hi cheez hai yaar. Teen baar likhne se ye Python nahi ban jaata.”

“Sagar bhai fresher ho aur resume 3 pages ka hai. 6 internships, 4 projects, 2 society roles, sports captain bhi. Ek kaam dhang se kiya hota toh aaj haath mein offer letter hota.”

“10 years experience. Senior Manager. Aur Skills mein likha — Quick Learner. Bhai 10 saal baad bhi seekh hi rahe ho? Kab kaam karoge?”

“Resume mein likha — Excellent Communication Skills. Aur usi resume mein 3 spelling mistakes hain. Bhai proof toh mil gaya — communication ka level kya hai.”

“Rahul bhai 5 saal experience aur likha — Responsible for managing social media. Kitne followers badhaye? Kitna revenue aaya? Watchman bhi responsible for security hota hai.”

“Neha ji resume mein studio photo, ring light, blurred background, full makeup. Bahut sundar. Par ATS ko beauty nahi samajh aati. GitHub link hota toh shayad impress hota.”

“6 saal Sales Manager. Resume mein likha — consistently exceeded targets and drove revenue growth. KITNA exceed kiya? 1%? 200%? Tu apne aap ko bhi sell nahi kar paya resume mein.”

“Tejas bhai 6 saal testing ka experience aur Selenium ka basic knowledge. Ye waise hi hai jaise gaadi hai, start karna aata hai par chalani nahi aati.”

“Fast Learner as a skill in 2026? Bhai mera 6 saal ka nephew bhi fast learner hai. Usko bhi job nahi mil rahi.”

“Tripti ji Objective mein likha — To work in a challenging environment. KBC bhi challenging hota hai. Ye career goal nahi hota.”